Question:

Would you be able to travel to Alaska or Hawaii to visit your son or daughter there?

IN today's economy, and in the last few years, there is no way I'd be able to afford to. If all it cost was a plane ticket, maybe, but add Hotel, food, entertainment, etc. NO WAY!

Who would? Honestly?

My son has been out almost two years, lives here in my state, an hour away from me, but refuses to talk or visit me. I keep calling and emailing him, but no response. This is normal over those years, we only talked by email. He only came home to visit me 2 times in 11 years, and spent one week with me fishing. The other time, was a New Years Eve party.

Now he says it was because of that. IN the 11 years he was in the service, I was able to save my marriage (on the rocks when he went in), buy a home, a new car, and a used bass boat, all of which are financed, and paid for monthly. Also, I was able to drive to Florida from CT to meet and visit my birth father's family last year, and I stayed with them.

But he is mad cuz I didn't go to HAWAII or Alaska to visit or see him come home from IRAQ. He also seems to have forgotten I did travel to SC to see him graduate boot camp. I took him to Hilton Head for a week after, then brought him to his next training in GA.

OK, how evil am I?

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Absolutely agree.

In our situation, the conversations never came up of going there. Usually he was not there, but deployed somewhere, and that was his base. We've been at war. He never communicated enough to plan it. It would like be, I just got back from Iraq. Going back in 3 weeks. I'm sure he could have planned something, but it never came up until now. After the fact. The military is not prone to family visits.

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Thank you very much for your information.

I agree he has not been very communicative. We did speak more when he was away, via email and chats, but that was it. He is not married. He lives with his mom. Many a time he came home on leave, and just didn't let me know.

This past week I began again, after several months since the last time I tried and failed to get together. This stime, I tried his mother via phone. She said he never calls her back either, but I didn't buy that much, they must see each other daily living in the same home.

So, after several calls and message later, I emailed his mom I was still failing, and said "Well, he just must not beinto his dad very much." That got this awful email back from him about how he never had a dad growing up, he got into computers in the Army after I turned him onto them when he was in high school (but he had no dAD), AND WHILE HE IS AWAY, i CAN BUY NEW CARS, A HOME, A BOAT, AND TRAVEL oopps..hate when you hit caps..to visit long lost family, but I can't go see him in Hawaii or Alaska.

What he does not know is I planned a big family get-together for him for when he got out with all that family I found. I planned a picnic that was going to be at Sherwood Island State Park, and had several of our relatives family waiting for the final date and times. We never got to it because he fails to call and talk to me. His mother even knew about it.

I really think something else is going on besides the story he gave about me traveling to HA & AK. Some have suggested delayed Stress Syndrome from his tours in Iraq.

I remember when he went to FT GOrdon after our week at the Hilton Head. I dropped him off and drove back to CT. I didn't hear from him for several weeks and called down there. I got his barracks, and left a message that he call his dad, becasue I hadn't heard from him and wondered if he was still alive (jokingly ofcourse). He got hell from his higher ups that time.

Anyway, thanks again for your reply. I'm praying he comes around better. He needs to get out and work. I have contacts.

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He was a Sgt. Was in the Stryker BT out of Ft Wainwright. Went to Iraq twice with it. He worked on radios, networks and computers. Don't know much more than that cuz of his lack of com..:) He also did some kind of Instructor/training out of Hawaii when there.

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I really do not know what his problem is. He has not been in touch with me much at all after he went in there. It's just now I am pushing it and he came out with that BS about me not going there.

You don't communicate, you can't expect someone to know you better than they do.

I do know he drinks & smokes. I get the impression from his mom he stays in his room mostly when home. He is not working, but looking for job, hoping he gets called for a state type job. BUt that's all I know. Any other ideas I have would be guessing at best.

What I do know is we did not have a bad relationship prior to him going in. I was actually in a time when I was still trying to get my own life together. I was separated from wife at that time. My wife is not his mother. While he was gone, we eventually got back together (my wife and I). I was never married to HIS MOM, she didn't want it then. My wife and I have been doing good. We are not rich, and live pay check to paycheck. He doesn't get that. I am sure he has never thought about it though.

From that email, It seems like he thinks I owe him something. When he was getting out of the service, he had made some comments on FACEBOOK about his superiors treating him bad cuz he was leaving them. Giving him rotten duties and stuff he thought was below him. Made me think then too that he thought they owed him better treatment.

But all guesses. I do not know him at all now.

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