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Things I've Learned From Watching Action Movies

KingZombie
Sunday, December 23, 2012 7:13:51 AM
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1. It is possible to outrun a fireball.
2. Massive explosions DO NOT produce shock waves.
3. Whoever you just meet and instantly don't like, you will become life long pals or lovers after both experiencing a spectacular event that forces you to team up.
4. Don't worry about the guy who just screwed you over. He's going to die a painful death.
5. Your adversary is extremely cocky. So much so that they will assume you've died without actually seeing you die.
6. All police, FBI and other law enforcement are incompetent. Except for you if you are one of them.
7. If you are not in law enforcement and witness a crime, you have to (albeit reluctantly) take care of it yourself.
8. Anyone can drive a truck or bus. It's just like driving a car.
9. No one will hold you accountable for any property damage or theft you are responsible for.
10. Bad people are always terrible shots.
11. Punches to the face generally do not cause all that much more than a split lip.
12. Even if you just had a drag down fight with someone, you'll be able to muster enough strength in a few seconds to fight and beat someone else who's at full strength.
13. You can instantly knock out someone with a hard right or pistol whip to the back of the head.
MoonKnight1
Sunday, December 23, 2012 8:55:44 AM
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13. You can instantly knock out someone with a hard right or pistol whip to the back of the head.

This "Instant KO" also makes no sound at all no matter how much gear, armor, etc. the recipient of the blow to the head is wearing.
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ukblueky
Sunday, December 23, 2012 9:26:56 AM
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One you overlooked
Shooting with two guns is just as accurate as one gun.
Dementia5
Sunday, December 23, 2012 9:45:31 AM
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In a firefight, you should never outdistance yourself or dodge a missile/blaster attack from a spaceship by moving at right angles. The only way to get to safety is to race in a straight line and hope you are faster.
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kidlippy
Sunday, December 23, 2012 10:06:16 AM
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Forgot

Chances are you're going to say "I'll be back"
Xylob
Sunday, December 23, 2012 11:24:57 AM
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You never have to reload because you never run out of bullets (except for when it might be "dramatic" to do so).
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MER
Sunday, December 23, 2012 1:20:59 PM
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When you're confronted with a bomb, you know exactly which wire to clip b/c it's all color coordinated.

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CrossbowComics
Sunday, December 23, 2012 9:41:06 PM
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Bad guys are stupid & will therefore stand right out in the open in a firefight, very handy.



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4saken1
Sunday, December 23, 2012 10:07:08 PM
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Other cars tend to explode on impact, but the one you are driving can flip several times and you'll still be able to walk away.
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Xylob
Monday, December 24, 2012 9:29:08 AM
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Barrels and cars will explode instantly when shot with any size bullet from any range.
Need help with a Change Request?Click here to contact an approver!
Problems with CCL?
Send an email right away (don't delay!) to helpdesk@comiccollectorlive.com
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Xylob's Most Wanted:

G.I.Joe Special Missions TPB 2
Tales from the Transformers Beast Wars: Critical Mass
Youngblood Bloodsport #2 maybe? can you help identify?
Dreadnok01
Monday, December 24, 2012 7:43:23 PM
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You can survive multiple bullet wounds and keep fighting. Most bad guys will die from a single gunshot anywhere on their body.
deadpoolgun96
Wednesday, December 26, 2012 2:14:52 PM
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Look man, you can't trust everything you see on movies, yes some of what they in the movies are true but see if you can do it first, THEN say its true
KingZombie
Wednesday, December 26, 2012 9:04:30 PM
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deadpoolgun96 wrote:
Look man, you can't trust everything you see on movies, yes some of what they in the movies are true but see if you can do it first, THEN say its true


Hey man, they can't do stuff in the movies that isn't true. I read that once.
Spider-Man
Thursday, December 27, 2012 7:26:15 AM
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KingZombie wrote:
deadpoolgun96 wrote:
Look man, you can't trust everything you see on movies, yes some of what they in the movies are true but see if you can do it first, THEN say its true


Hey man, they can't do stuff in the movies that isn't true. I read that once.


I think I read that also....on Wikipedia. And we all know if its on the Internet it must be true.


Winking





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MoonKnight1
Thursday, December 27, 2012 8:58:10 AM
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I too once believed that movies sometimes stretched the truth a bit so I did some experimenting of my own. My attempt to debunk Jurassic Park ended up turning out even worse than expected. (I apologize to the Richmond Animal Control officers who had to round up a half dozen Raptor-doodles that got loose)

Next, I jumped off the roof of a high-rise building with nothing but a fire hose wrapped around my waist. Worked like a charm. I only spent two weeks in ICU.

For my next endeavor I plan on getting drunk then flying a jumbo jet upside down before making a pinpoint landing while keeping the plane intact.

Anything else worth trying?

Howie
Hall of Heroes
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Dreadnok01
Thursday, December 27, 2012 1:19:13 PM
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MoonKnight1 wrote:
I too once believed that movies sometimes stretched the truth a bit so I did some experimenting of my own. My attempt to debunk Jurassic Park ended up turning out even worse than expected. (I apologize to the Richmond Animal Control officers who had to round up a half dozen Raptor-doodles that got loose)

Next, I jumped off the roof of a high-rise building with nothing but a fire hose wrapped around my waist. Worked like a charm. I only spent two weeks in ICU.

For my next endeavor I plan on getting drunk then flying a jumbo jet upside down before making a pinpoint landing while keeping the plane intact.

Anything else worth trying?

Howie
Hall of Heroes


Have you tried walking away from a massive explosion in slow motion?
MoonKnight1
Thursday, December 27, 2012 6:48:13 PM
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Dreadnok01 wrote:
MoonKnight1 wrote:
I too once believed that movies sometimes stretched the truth a bit so I did some experimenting of my own. My attempt to debunk Jurassic Park ended up turning out even worse than expected. (I apologize to the Richmond Animal Control officers who had to round up a half dozen Raptor-doodles that got loose)

Next, I jumped off the roof of a high-rise building with nothing but a fire hose wrapped around my waist. Worked like a charm. I only spent two weeks in ICU.

For my next endeavor I plan on getting drunk then flying a jumbo jet upside down before making a pinpoint landing while keeping the plane intact.

Anything else worth trying?

Howie
Hall of Heroes


Have you tried walking away from a massive explosion in slow motion?


That's on my list. Right after I fire a bazooka in one hand and an M-60 machine gun in the other.
Quality. Consistency. Variety. Reliable. Fair. Friendly





Dreadnok01
Friday, January 04, 2013 10:50:38 PM
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I just tried jumping my car 30 feet through the air and it landed smoothly and sustained no damage whatsoever!
MoonKnight1
Monday, January 21, 2013 2:58:34 PM
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You don't even really have to worry about getting shot - all bad guys have terrible aim. You on the other hand, being the hero, don't even need to look while firing. You will be able to pick off guys hiding behind barriers, cars, buildings, hostages, etc. with ease while storming through a hail of bullets. Completely untouched, mind you.
Quality. Consistency. Variety. Reliable. Fair. Friendly





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