It's hot. I'm bored. What to do...
I know! Start a thread asking for your prime prevarications, excellent exaggerations, fabulous falsehoods and delightful distortions.
I was walking to the local store today and it was downright hot. I mean fiery, stupid hot. At one point, my hair actually
caught fire when a shaft of sunlight reflected off of a car's rear view mirror as I walked past it. I frantically flailed at it until I remembered that I should "Stop, Drop and Roll".
So I did. Unfortunately, the sidewalk had turned molten and all I accomplished was what appears to be an "asphalt angel" curiously shaped like Gargamel.
I then leapt to my feet Matrix style and, hair still ablaze, ran to the nearest source of liquid to extinguish the conflagration. I spotted a rain barrel and dove in it head first. As I thrashed around frantically searching for a drop of water to douse my flaming noggin I came face to face with the ugliest possum you can ever imagine.
This critter looked at me with baleful eye and snaggled tooth, our gaze locked - and suddenly the beast lurched forward and clamped down on my head, extinguishing the inferno that was my dome.
Turns out that this possum is a legend among marsupials and travels the world handing out life jackets and breath strips. His name was Opie and I will never forget him.
Thank you my wovable wombat!Beat that