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MoonKnight1
Posted: Thursday, July 18, 2013 4:14:44 PM

Rank: Celestial
Groups: Guru, Member, Moderator, Sports Host, Super Seller

Shop at My Store

Joined: 5/24/2010
Posts: 2,929
Points: 10,747
Location: Richmond, VA
It's hot. I'm bored. What to do...

I know! Start a thread asking for your prime prevarications, excellent exaggerations, fabulous falsehoods and delightful distortions.

I'll start!Dancing

I was walking to the local store today and it was downright hot. I mean fiery, stupid hot. At one point, my hair actually caught fire when a shaft of sunlight reflected off of a car's rear view mirror as I walked past it. I frantically flailed at it until I remembered that I should "Stop, Drop and Roll".

So I did. Unfortunately, the sidewalk had turned molten and all I accomplished was what appears to be an "asphalt angel" curiously shaped like Gargamel.

I then leapt to my feet Matrix style and, hair still ablaze, ran to the nearest source of liquid to extinguish the conflagration. I spotted a rain barrel and dove in it head first. As I thrashed around frantically searching for a drop of water to douse my flaming noggin I came face to face with the ugliest possum you can ever imagine.

This critter looked at me with baleful eye and snaggled tooth, our gaze locked - and suddenly the beast lurched forward and clamped down on my head, extinguishing the inferno that was my dome.

Turns out that this possum is a legend among marsupials and travels the world handing out life jackets and breath strips. His name was Opie and I will never forget him.

Thank you my wovable wombat!

Beat that

Fantastic News! Hall of Heroes has now surpassed 600 Hero Ratings! I couldn't have done it without all of you and I will strive to maintain and improve my high standards. Which brings me to my next announcement - starting now, all shipments will come with tracking at no extra charge to you! I'm a little late to the party but as they say - better late than never. You spoke and I heard you loud and clear. Excelsior!



Now with 1,500+ positive feedback on the four letter site!
Standing offer to all CCL Members - every purchase you make from my other store (link below) earns you at least one freebie of my choice! If you purchase from Hall Liquidations send a PM to Hall of Heroes and let me know! Thanks!

Hall Liquidations


Thundercron
Posted: Thursday, July 18, 2013 4:29:23 PM

Rank: Herald of Galactus
Groups: Member, Super Seller

Shop at My Store

Joined: 9/14/2008
Posts: 2,442
Points: 31,621
Location: Vancouver, Washington
If you can't draw, find yourself an artist to tem up with. You should be writing children's books. Seriously.

"Extinguish the inferno that was my dome." That's priceless.
wpmcclure
Posted: Thursday, July 18, 2013 9:15:00 PM

Rank: Large Noggin
Groups: Member

Joined: 7/28/2010
Posts: 433
Points: 4,251
Location: Washington
Thundercron wrote:
If you can't draw, find yourself an artist to tem up with. You should be writing children's books. Seriously.

"Extinguish the inferno that was my dome." That's priceless.


Holy hell I'd pay money for that short story. Get skottie young to draw it! Laughing

rook68
Posted: Tuesday, July 30, 2013 11:16:40 AM

Rank: Watcher
Groups: Member

Joined: 11/27/2009
Posts: 526
Points: 1,578
Location: San Diego, CA
Just like the last two posts. You should be writing children's books.


(referring to an original comic book piece) This is a art gallery my friend and THIS is a piece of art.

Elijah Price "Unbreakable"
played by Samuel L. Jackson


MoonKnight1
Posted: Friday, August 02, 2013 4:23:32 PM

Rank: Celestial
Groups: Guru, Member, Moderator, Sports Host, Super Seller

Shop at My Store

Joined: 5/24/2010
Posts: 2,929
Points: 10,747
Location: Richmond, VA
Since you asked...

Just got a possum-gram from Opie. He's on his way to the West Coast and stopped by to visit a distant relative in St. Louis. Betsy Bandicoot, who opened her paws and her home in an abandoned barge down by the levee to the scruffy traveller and they feasted on slugs and rotten tomatoes.

Then Opie hopped aboard a paddle steamer named the Missouri Compromise and eventually found himself in a heated round of Old Maid facing an astronaut with a peg leg, a Burmese python with a Russian accent, Dig'em the Honey Smacks frog and former UN Secretary-General Boutros Boutros-Ghali (who insisted on being called "BBG").

The play was fast and furious! Hop-a-long Spaceman played a pair of Pop Up Paul's which was quickly countered by BBG's Bagpipe Barney two-for. Dig'em responded by coolly dropping a Diver Dan duo.

Opie was sweating. His crooked fang bit into his lower lip as he came to the conclusion that he in fact was going to be stuck with the Old Maid card. As he sat there contemplating his next move providence intervened in the form of the extra-dimensional entity known as Ugga the Uncomfortable who chose that moment and that place to manifest itself in our reality.

Ugga was not a bad sort per se and was just looking for a nice place to sit back and rest its tentacles. Upon seeing the paddle boat however, the befuddled creature mistakenly thought it was an old rival from Dimension L and immediately discharged it's entire reservoir of nitrous oxide on the hapless vessel and its passengers. This made Ugga cross as it was saving the gas for a special occasion and now would have to go back to the dispensary for more. Now, confused and giggling, the monster latched itself to the doomed craft and began dismantling it.

In the ensuing hubbub Opie managed to dive snout first out a window and swam to the relative safety of Arkansas. He solemnly watched as the beleaguered boat drifted out of view, alien beast thrashing away at its implacable, unknowing adversary.

My favorite possum has promised to keep me updated on his progress as he continues on his journey to California. I'll fill you in when I hear more.

Fantastic News! Hall of Heroes has now surpassed 600 Hero Ratings! I couldn't have done it without all of you and I will strive to maintain and improve my high standards. Which brings me to my next announcement - starting now, all shipments will come with tracking at no extra charge to you! I'm a little late to the party but as they say - better late than never. You spoke and I heard you loud and clear. Excelsior!



Now with 1,500+ positive feedback on the four letter site!
Standing offer to all CCL Members - every purchase you make from my other store (link below) earns you at least one freebie of my choice! If you purchase from Hall Liquidations send a PM to Hall of Heroes and let me know! Thanks!

Hall Liquidations


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