*Job Requirements: Skill at butt paddling
Bio: During his senior year of high school, the teen who became Number One was informed by his guidance councilor that the job he was best suited for was leader of an ancient mystical society. During his reign, Number One was beloved by his fellow Stonecutters and a time of peace, prosperity, and ping-pong prevailed. But when it was revealed that Homer Simpson was the Chosen One prophesied to lead the Stonecutters to greatness, the group deteriorated beyond repair and a new group, The Ancient Mystic Society of No Homers, was born.
Stonecutter Initiation Rituals: The Leap of Faith, Crossing the Desert, The Unblinking Eye, The Wreck of the Hesperus, ans The Paddling of the Swollen Ass... with Paddles.
*Source: Back of card