*Least Favorite Store in Springfield Mall: The Leftorium
Bio: Birch Spent his youth on Seth and Munchie's Juice-Making Commune. However, he renounced his hippie roots when he learned that although the women on the commune believed in free love, they didn't believe it pertained to him. A strong philosophical right turn later and Birch found himself a leader in the Republican community. Now a best selling author and radio host, he uses his influence to rail against liberal politicians and organizations on a daily basis. Mayor "Diamond Joe" Quimby's success with the ladies is particularly irksome to Barlow, who considers it his duty to convince the voters of Springfield that a man with a sex drive is unfit to hold public office.
Charter Member of: The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy
Least Favorite Color: Pinko
*Source: Back of card